why do we keep making the same mistakes?

Why do we keep making the same mistakes?

We already know what is going to happen. We know how it will end, how it will make us feel, and how much we will regret it later. Still, resisting it feels almost impossible.

It is not physically harmful or anything, but mentally, it hurts afterwards. Some things just happen on autopilot, without much thought. Or maybe that is not even true. Maybe there is actually too much thought.

You keep telling yourself not to do it. You rationalise everything. You think about all the reasons why it is a bad idea, and somehow, after all that thinking, you still end up fucking doing it.

It feels good for a short while. Then later, you replay the whole thing in your head. You get stuck thinking about it, regretting it, but also strangely enjoying it again through the memory.

And then the same promise comes back: I will not do it again.

But somehow, the loop repeats.

And the worst part is that I desperately want to get out of it.

The most rational part of my brain agrees completely. It understands everything. It knows this needs to stop, like there is no tomorrow. But the other part of me just refuses to let go.

It feels like some stupid fight between two opposite versions of myself—yin and yang, logic and impulse, self-control and desire, whatever you want to call it. And that fight is exhausting.

That is the part which is in my control.

But then there is another side to it. A clap needs two hands. Some things do not depend only on what I do. There are reactions, circumstances, timing, and things outside me that I cannot control.

Still, when something positive happens, I use it as a reason to do more of it. When something negative happens, I somehow blame myself, feel terrible, and then repeat the same thing later because I convince myself that maybe this time it will be different.

But deep down, I already know.

I know my instincts. I know that feeling in my gut. I have seen the same situations play out before. Every past moment, every familiar pattern, and every consequence is right there in front of my eyes.

Yet when the actual moment of truth arrives, the brain somehow manages to mess everything up.

Maybe knowing something is bad for us is not always enough to stop us. Maybe, in that moment, the temporary comfort feels more real than the regret waiting on the other side.